All Things Die
by misscam
Summary: In the end, all things die.. Even love?


Disclaimer: These people belong to Paramount (surprise, surprise!) so don`t sue me for using them, no harm intended. The story is completly mine, however, it was actually a Norwegian essay I have rewritten just a tiny bit (as well as translated, coz my universal translator is missing)  
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All Things Die  
  
by Camilla Sandman   
  
You pledged to me. Your eyes spoke of a love that would never die. You told me I was never alone. You told me someday I would be able to hear the wind. And everything you said, I believed. Our love was such a fragile thing, yet.. It felt right, like you were the second part of my soul. And we were so great together. What changed that? Who - or what took you away? At what point did the stars in your eyes die? I don`t know any longer. The wind holds the answers, but without you I cannot hear her whisper. You died, dear.   
  
Oh, you were still there, your body, but your soul...   
  
When did it first happen? When did you die, bit for bit? What made you slip from me, like wet sand between my fingers, pouring slowly away? I don`t know anymore. But in the end you were just a shell, and when you walked away, I hardly noticed. You had died so long before. And me with you. Inseperable. If one dies, so does the other. Perfect love, in death still. But I cannot help the weak whisper in my head, accusing me of shutting you out, not seeing what we had until too late.   
  
That one moment of perfect beauty.... It was so perfect nothing can ever be the same, I could never be the same, a part of me would forever belong to you. That time on New Earth when we were fully ourselves, and you pledged to me. I hid the memory of it as long as I could, but now memories are all that I have. Can you remember? Are you out there, somewhere, thinking of me.   
  
Do you remember us lying there, under the moon and the stars, what seems like a lifetime ago? That planet, so similar to home with a night sky as dark as your eyes, and the stars... Did they shine brightest up there, or in the reflection of you in my eyes? Reflections of a star, in a star. The ground was so soft beneath us, the wind was softly singing in the grass. Do you remember? Do you remember my head resting on your shoulder, our bodies so close, but our soules yet closer and still not close enough? Your one arm around my waist, holding me closely, as if you were afraid I would slip away. And I did, in the end, didn`t I? Your other hand playing with my hair, your cheek resting on my head - I can still feel a shadow of you there, in the grass. Do you remember? Do you ? The wind does, but I still can`t hear her. She is too distant in space. In that moment, everything was allright. At that point, I was alive, for what felt like the first time. And our souls joined. The stars shone so brightly that night, and the next, and the next... They shone brightly for quite some time. And so Voyager came to pick us up. The stars were still there, even though I pushed you away. Time passed. At some point, they dimmed. And slowly... The stars in your eyes died, and in mine. Did they die first in mine or yours? Or does it matter? In the end all things die.   
  
Whatever reason, it had one outcome.   
  
You walked away. And I tried to go on with my life. But it seemed to only be a shadow of a previous life, a reflection of a reflection. The stars was dimmer, the sun darker, the world colder. You took the part of my heart I had given you with you - I was no longer me, only a shadow. And so time passed, sand running slowly through the hour-glass, years of my life passing without me living them. And once in a while I would return to our place in my mind, to feel our shadows there, hear our laughter in the wind, see the stars in the sky that we lost, feel the wind caress my skin as you would have. And for a while feel like you were there, that I was alive once more. Dreams are easy. Facing them, that is the hard part.   
  
It took a courage I didn`t know I had to return there, even if only in a recreation, so afraid it would be ruined. The courage came from you, a living reminder of what I had had. A ghost of the past. Or was it the part of you I always carried with me? The place was as it had always been, peacefully, quiet, and I could feel our shadows, just out of reach. And the wind was whispering softly, but her words disappeared in the air. Just like New Earth was. Only you wasn`t there. Your shadow was, and it felt so real. Memories of forbidden love. Forbidden, by myself. Why did you come back so long after? I was standing there, under the stars, feeling the shadows of us pass by, when I felt you. Or was it your shadow, my wish? Your steps, softly in the grass, but I didn`t turn around. It could be the wind. I closed my eyes, afraid of what I might see, or what I might not see. Your breath was warm against my neck, but you didn`t touch me, just as afraid as me. So quiet it was. Even the nature around us where holding its breath. An eternity passed by, your breath caressing my skin, warming me. And then, slowly, slowly...   
  
You plassed your hand on my shoulder. The first touch was as light as a feather, but was like pouring gazelin on a small fire. My body was burning, shivering under your touch until my muscles relaxed, feeling whole again. But my eyes were still closely shut, desperatly, afraid it was all a dream, a shadow passing by. You let your hand rest there, not moving an inch.   
  
Another eternity passed by quietly before you, just as slowly as before, moved your other hand. I almost couldn`t feel your breath anymore. Were you afraid I might try to stop you? That your hand would grasp air just as mine had so many times? Your hands were resting so lightly on my shoulders, like you were afraid of putting your weight on me, as if I was made of glass and would break if you weren`t careful. And even with my eyes closed I could see the expression on your face, tensed, your lovely cheekbones clearly showing, but after a while it softened, as you became more sure.   
  
Carefully you let your hands move down my body, tracing my arms down to my hands, barely touching the skin. And only then, when you reached my hands, did I reply, leading your hands to my waist. Without rushing you moved your body forward to keep your balance. My back to your chest like it had been so many times. Always trying to protect me. But you could not protect me from myself, dear. No one can. But maybe you can save me still.   
  
So many questions in the air. Why did you leave? And why did you come back? Questions not asked, only thought, and then asked silently. No one had the answer, maybe the wind had, but no one ever listens to her anymore. Her whisper is too weak. But you always had me believe that one day we would hear her, finally. And everything would make sense. There on the planet, maybe we could. But so many voices are stronger then hers. The duty. The responesbility. In the end it was the only voices I could hear until it was too late, till you were gone. Why hadn`t you gone on with your life? Why where you here, now?   
  
I could feel your muscels under the soft fabric of your cloths, still tense, ready to react. Did you think it was a dream, that I was a shadow passing by? Afraid - as I was. It felt like a dream, like a reflection I could only see, but not touch. So dreamlike, only - I could smell you. That clear smell that is you, strong as ever. Dreams have no smells, do they? You let your face rest on my neck, burying it in my hair, finally letting some of your weight on me. You were heavy, but you never put to much weight on me. Never. So gracefully, so soft... The years seemed to be washed away, but they were still there. You were gone, dear. I was gone. Would we ever really come back?   
  
The first touch of your lips almost made me jump, and for a moment you froze, tensed, until I used one hand to caress your neck. First then you continued, not wanting to push me, or yourself. Your hair was as soft as it had always been. I let a hand rest in it, but the other locked your hands to my waist, afraid you might still slip away. But you didn`t. Instead you used that force in you to turn me around, facing you. But I couldn`t open my eyes. Not yet. So afraid it wasn`t you. So afraid... The stars would still be gone. And I would die, again. And again. And again until the end.   
  
Your hands were burning as they rested on my hip, your thumbs stroking, asking if it was alright. All that strenght you had. But I didn`t resist as you pulled me even closer, letting our lips touch. Gently, just lingering on one another for endless amount of time. So trying at first, so asking, barely touching one another at all, but becoming more sure as time passed, till you finally parted my lips and I allowed you entery. Almost like our first kiss. It was here as well, on a night like this. Did you remember? Did you? Or was this the first kiss? All things go in circles. Maybe we were ending up where we started. Coming full circle.   
  
How long did we stand there like that, gently exploring the sweet familiar, but almost forgotten territory? An eternity? Two? Time froze. But finally I pulled away, at last opening my eyes. Your dark eyes were even darker, your black hair with strands of grey. And the stars... They were there.   
  
"You have been gone for a long time, Chakotay," I said quietly, without accusation.   
  
You smiled that ruefully smile of your, my heart ponding, finally really alive.   
  
"So have you, Kathryn," you replyed in that soft way of your and for a moment, I could swear the grass sang. And at that moment, I believed you. Our love would never die. You smiled so gently at me, a gift I thought it was too late to recive. But the stars glittered joyfully at me.   
  
And the wind... I could finally hear her, a soft whisper by my ear.   
  
"All things die," she said.   
  
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